[ D]reaming under the [ S]tars

Monday, August 13, 2007

Today I went to see Bu Neng Shuo De Mi Mi. Upon watching the show... so many memories flashed back. Reminds miie of the times i played the piano for her. Its been since quite soem time i last touched the holy piano. 既然没人肯听，弹得多好有何用？ I have lost all my skills lerr.. I dare not dirty the sacred piano wiif my hands.

I lack the courage. Every day i ponder, when will i ever get to play the piano for my friends and esp... the one i truly love.

The day, when the sacred melody is revived, marks the day my frozen tears revive in eternal love.

Wish that the one will appear soon. For now... i feel cold.. a frozen heart can feel nothing.
Perhaps i am destined to walk this path alone... miserably. T.T

_just me_
10:40 PM

Friday, April 27, 2007

Haix... Im so useless. I like her so much yet, before we became close friends, we are friends no more lerr... she hates mii to the core. She just hates mii. Haix..

Her son likes her a lot and hangs out with her all the time even the whole school is saying they now together lerr.. T.T Haix.. perhaps she realii likes him a lot ba.. perhaps im nothing compared to him ba. or perhaps, they are destine to be together. T.T

I feel that, my whole life is being toyed by gals. Perhaps my feelings is destined to be toyed by gals. Haix, it just reminds mii of how i got ditched by my ex gf.. T.T

I dunnoe why but.. all the gals i like, they will never like mii. most of the time, the gal will hate mii. Perhaps is because of my Fu*kin* attitude ba..

it never pays to be good to gals... i still rmb tat time i helped zi hui so much... she actually got her bf on the line to scold mii and threaten mii... T.T she also claims tat she hates mii a lot because i help her too much..

im realii depressed... heartbrokened.. Im now so afraid of gals.. im realii afraid of gals. my feeligns are destined to be toyed by gals... im destined to be hated or ditched.

_just me_
7:23 AM

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Fever... fever... and high fever... T.T
Haix.. for the whole weekend, iie can onlii lie on the bed. Im having high fever for the 4th consecutive days lerr.. doc says if by tml still got fever then must go draw blood check lerr. Arrr! at if its dengue? T.T I dunn wanna die sho early!!!
Haix.. can hardly breath well. Some more got flu, cough, giddiness and blah blah blah... >> am iie gonna die soon? sobs...
haix... sho sian at home... msn online whole day no one chat wiif miie... Hp switch on onlii TongEn kind enough to talk crap wiif miie... ii got sho scarry mehh?
... can't type any more lerr. type some more ii will faint..

_just me_
6:50 PM

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Happy Chinese New Year!
Feel so down. I am realli at my wits end lerr.
I have been trying to avoid hAi InN friends. I have no courage to face them for i am nothing now and i look ugly with hair shaved.. I need friends and i need them but.. I dare not see them.

I love some one.. if only i have more time to be by her side.. haix.. every day i cry.. thinkin of her and another guy.. its been some time since she last picked up my call or replied my sms. perhaps she already likes some one lerr.. or perhaps she will neevr like miie. Im useless... all i can do ish cry..

There was once Hui Deng told miie this "to miie.. you are some one who got no goals". Its not tat i have no goals. Every thing was according to my plan.. wish to complete my poly/ jc education while studying the Art of War hard. When in NS, get into Officer Cadet School. After 2 years, study U and then work to gain exp then start my own business. I wish to become rich so tat i can share these wealth and fame with every one around miie... i wish give my friends and esp her happiness, to do loads of charity, give free tuition, teach pple moral values, make Hai Inn YouthWing and Ed Board sucessful and lots more..
but now... now.. i am left with nth.. im just a trash. is it realli a mistake to fall in love with xingyi? isn't love suppose to be sweet? why has it left miie with nth?
I now go in army with O lvl cert.. im a grade c soldier.. i can neevr be an officer.. i am destined to be a clerk. Haix..

Haix.. i now dunn even have the courage to face eevry one.. im just nth.
heard tat zihui next yr wun be in hai in any more lerr.. nt jst her ba.. i believe many other more.. I ... I know i am able to convince them derr.. i know i can. All i need is courage..

wats the feelin of being loved? I seriously dunn know.. iie feel so lonely.. im so afraid tat my friends will lveave miie.. i need frendz... i need courage.. one day.. just one day.. iie will become sucessful.. .. iie wish to be with her.. give her happiness.. protect her and lurve her..

_just me_
6:50 AM

Monday, May 15, 2006

Why can't you love me? Why can't I hug you? Why can't I kiss you? Why can't I treat you as my darling? I love you. I just love you. i only wanna love you. I wanna give you love, warmth and care. I wanna be there for you when you are down or need help.

I wanan be your liu qin when you are down, let you vent your anger on de. I wanna be there to let you slap... kick... wack.. nie.. poke..bite till bleed then hug you tight tight when you need it... i dun mind getting injured or over losing blood by over injuring me.... even if i die... i know its worthed it. For i love de... is you.

I just wanna let u know... i would gladly lay down my sotong life for you... I would now cut my there for you... i would become a tai jian and let ppel laugh at this poor little sotong jux for you... I would now go let mrt bang and crush this poor little sotong and die if that will make you happy.... I wun wanna see you cry... feel sad... stressed up... angry.. but no one there to listen to you. Please accept me as your darling. Please stop ignoring me.. please stop avoiding me... please love me...

please stop bullying this ke lian de sotong... please love lord.... lord ish cryin... depressed... need pple to tok to but... i am told cannot tell any one... sho keep every thing inside...

lord ish cryin again... lord ish lost... bluuurr like sotong like what pig always say... lord needs pig... lords needs pig to be with him...

lord cries again.... lord wishes pig to love him... lord cannot dun have pig... pig ish every thing to lord... lord wants to be loved by pig... sotong wants to love pig...

sotong see pig smile smile he happy... sotong lyks to poke and buwee pigpig. sotong wants to see pigpig happy. sotong wish to hug pigpig for a swim but pigpig hates swiming. pigpig damm zhuai.. but sotong lyks it. sotong now yawn and yawn.. pigpig dissappear le... "where pigpig go?" sotong find and find... "pigpig no more le?"... sotong cry and cry... "will pigpig come back again?"... "pigpig... i miss you... pigpig... i... actually ..... I... love you".

*IF this ish DA AI... THEN lord RATHER DUN LOVE ANY ONE... because lord never really care for pple and lord dun wan pple to suffer or cry because of him .

*IF this ish XING PU SHA DAO... THEN lord RATHER DUN LEARN TO BE A PU SHA SINCE.... PPLE WHO NEED HELP WUN GET lord de HELP. PPLE WUN BE HAPPY when lord ish there.

*IF this ish "FUO FA" THEN lord RATHER DUN LEARN BUDDHISM... lord RATHER CONVERT TO CHRISTIANITY... AT LEAST THERE... COUPLES FORM... COUPLES GET TO HELP PPLE IN NEED... THEY HAPPY... PPLE AROUND THEM HAPPY AND THEY ALL GO HEAVEN...

_just me_
12:24 AM

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

What has she contributed? What did she do for the info grp? That time, though our job was done… the design grp was under severe stress… conflicts arised… we didn’t give up. We endured all the humiliations yet… all she did was… “oh! Be like me! All dun care! Just do what that is only within our job scope! Aiyar… just dun care lar!”
All along its either me or Yi Yi doing the work! When did she help at least one time? We try and make things easy for them and that pervert was only smiling… that jerky smile…
She always says that she wanna be a Budddha… she talks a lot about Buddhism and seems to know a lot… sho what? You know a lot then can go around say pple lousier arh? Who the F*** she is? Any way… sho wat if she knows a lot? Can say… BUT CAN APPLY MA? Say pple this not good.. people that not good… then herself lei? PERFECT ARH?! WOAH! SHE BUDDHA ARH!!!!
Also… that pervert HU LI has got many faces… in front of us.. she acts like a innocent study nerd… in front of her school mates… another face… at home another face! Know what? The other time I merely blurted her behaviour in front of her friends… guess what? Her friend scolded me like mad! WTF? I was only saying the Wan Siew I saw in Hai Inn! I was scolded for ½ an hour! Then later she said “Dun any how say my things hoh! I dun wanna quarrel with you!”.
Yi Yi and I told ourselves.. we have had enough of this pervert… We asked her to draw time to do project… “WO YOU YI ZHONG GAN JUE WO HUI MEI KONG!” WTF?! That’s it… we really had enough….
--- by JM aka LoRd

_just me_
6:45 AM

Today,erm...lesson was alright...but I get to noe that I fail my maths badly...haiz...
today band was fun....at the earlier part but not...in fact is scary when they r having OC rehersal...

then...I was having good mood...then nearly 9pm...
I get jiaming to call wansiew...
becoz at first we thought of friday going to jiaming`s house to do some editorial info since WANSIEW haven even done a little thing for Editorial Info...
then...she told him
â€œæˆ‘æœ‰é¢„æ„Ÿæˆ‘æ˜ŸæœŸäº”ä¼šæ²¡æœ‰ç©ºï¼â€â€œå¦‚æžœæœ‰ç©ºï¼Œä¼šæ‰“ç”µè¯ç»™å¹¸æ€¡å§ï¼â€

yeah yeah....
watever CRAPS....

stupid idiot sia...
WAT SHE DONE FOR EDITORIAL?!
nothing at all till now...
yeah...since last year...all...I say ALL the info is found and edited by Jiaming and myself...
she did nothing..and everytime...she gives us a same answer that she no time,busy or dono...
yeah....everytime the same look,same face,same evil smile and the same respond 'I DONO!...DID I SAY THAT?!(DID I DO THAT?!)'

yeah...and btw....for u all information...
her character is not lyk how she look infront of us...
her character change...infront of editorial ppl?!her sch friends and even at home...

basically...I heard that she wanna be buddha next time...to help others to contribute to the buddhist world...
yeah...those r all...ALL....CRAPS!
cant even give us one hour for editorial board...cant even help other not say others...even ur own friends and families...then wat for saying all those big dao li?!..
keep writing compo?!..yeah...write all sort of things...her ç–‘æƒ‘ but...haven anyone å¯Ÿè§‰åˆ° her question are created or formed becoz she got the wrong WRONG ideal of buddhist...well..shes not perfect as everyone think..haha....

and I would lyk to say she is totally Irresponsible...becoz she could actually used her friends library card to borrow tons of books and return it one or one and a half month later...causing us to own the library money even up to $6++
and even time if she wanna care...she care if not she wont even bother about it...when having fun...she join in..when not...she jux sit at the corner...
becoz she is jux sooo "loney!"
no friends...no ppl really care for her...
yeah and perhaps even jiaming help her...
nvm...
becoz I am pissed...
is DAMMM pissed off by her...for so long le
well..I must used peiyen`s word...
"I do not hate anyone but I jux don lyk her attitude"

well...perhaps readers might think that I am scodling her or I am bad...but...hmm...
perhaps take a very good look at her...u will noe y....
---by YI YI
-- extracted from her blog

Please let me add... while she was holding on to the books... she was also at Malaysia laying eggs!!! Came back... told her about the fnies.. she wasn't even bothered!!! She keeps on saying.. "ok.. I will return the money de!" where? is it?

_just me_
6:41 AM

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Tell you all some thing... I always dreamt of goign to Chinatown with my close friends to Chinatown... OH MY GOD!! Dream come true man!! WOOW! I was never shoo happy! All thanks to Xing Yi... had it not been her co-ordinations! haha! Thank you YIYI!
On the 22nd of January, I went to Chinatown with Chi Hao, Alice and Xing Yi. Well, it was a fascinating trip! There was just shoo much people that we could hardly walk! We went rounds and rounds!
As the crowd built up, we had no choice but to put our hands on each other's back and walk! Chi Hao walked shoo fast! He is really damm good at Kai Lu! haha!
As we walked and walked.... opps... I bang onto Xing Yi... luckily she never shout. haha! We then found an amazing tea shop. The items sold in the shops are shoo exquisite but too expensive liao lar. Then... as we walked.. we went pass a dirty shop... selling those kind of dirty things de.. OMG! Shoo emabaressing!
After that, we went to buy the chocolate dipped fruits. It really costs a bomb! $2 dollars for just 3 slices of dipped chocolate fruits. hehe. We walked pass a stall selling hotdogs. The shop keeper was dressed in Chinese clothes! Amazing! Even his whole shop is decorated with Chinese stuffs.
Well, the most obvious sights were the beautifully decorated stalls with a wide range of bezar items yet... no one patronises them. I reminded Xing Yi to chant more Bao Shen Ru Lai and Duo Bao Ru Lai... in hoping that their business would improve.
There was the other time we went to Chinatown with Chi Hao, Zhi Hui and Xing Yi. Surprisingly, there weren't that much people as we expected. Well, the whole day we went rounds and rounds... rounds and rounds... searching for the shop or stall that sells Dan Zhu Shui... a kind of gaseous drink lar..haha. Basically we walked passed shops after shops... stalls after stalls OMG! Still cannot find! Then later, we went inside the shopping centre... then... I was told by them that.. among the dozen amount of massarging shops, a few of them offers "special services" gosh... hair all stand....

_just me_
4:46 PM